The following really happened. I know that it sounds insane but it is true.

A number of months ago I came down from house to car in order to drive to work. The lock on my car door was damaged, leaving the door shut but not locked. Being less that brilliant in the morning, I sort of did a shrug and headed to work. Since I was going to be hauling kids the next day, I went to the garage after returning home to put the seats back in the van. Ford Galaxy van circa 2000. There was one seat in the garage. My husband looked at me like I was insane when I asked him what he had done with the other three seats. He had done nothing with them, they were in the van yesterday. And not there today. Stolen. Checking with the Politzei, they mentioned that we were the second report in the area of seats being stolen.

Grief we got, and fairly nasty from the insurance company whose agent just did not believe that someone had stolen seats from our van. Eventually we got paid, and the new seats came in.

Well, guess what? Yesterday morning I unlocked the car from the passenger’s side to drop off my back pack, then walked around the van. Climbing in, I set off down the road. Something went ding in my mind. The van looked empty. No seats in the back, not one. And I had driven it the day before, full of seats. And yes, the lock had been forced on the driver’s door again. George will file the report with the Politzei, and I will tackle the car insurance people. Not going to deal with the local agent this time, I am calling USAA in Texas. And nasty letters will not be tolerated. Like I would lose the seats in my van? Sell them off? Lie to get them replaced? Exactly how am I to haul around three teens and a golden retreiver without seats? I may be crazy, but I am not insane. No one could possibly make this up.


To add insult to injury, today was mandatory training day. I will work and play well with others. I will not start to do nasty things that have not occurred to me in 26 years (29? depends on how you count). And most certainly, I will not drink and drive.

I have little patience for most of this. Those that are doing dumb, stupid, or evil things are not going to stop because some hair flipping blonde tells them that it is wrong while bouncing around the front of an auditorium. She might do fine with teens, but all of us are too old for it to be at all cute. The only thing these courses provide is a CYA for the Army in general so that when yee olde idiot does do whatever – there is the ability to say that it was against policy and training. Sheesh!

Off soap box.

This means that I only got the toe of the second Jody completed as the Thyroid Nodule lecture was interesting and it would have been in completely bad form to knit in the mandatory training. Better to sit in the back and make jokes.

(this means nothing worth a picture today – unless you want to see my special can of RAID! Those m*ths will die.)

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About Holly

fiber person - knitter, spinner, weaver who spent 33 years being a military officer to fund the above. And home. And family. Sewing and quilting projects are also in the stash. After living again in Heidelberg after retiring (finally) from the U.S. Army May 2011, we moved to the US ~ Dec 2015. Something about being over 65 and access to health care. It also might have had to do with finding a buyer for our house. Allegedly this will provide me a home base in the same country as our four adult children, all of whom I adore, so that I can drive them totally insane. Considerations of time to knit down the stash…(right, and if you believe that…) and spin and .... There is now actually enough time to do a bit of consulting, editing. Even more amazing - we have only one household again. As long as everyone understands that I still, 40 years into our marriage, don't do kitchens or bathrooms. For that matter, not being a golden retriever, I don't do slippers or newspapers either. I don’t miss either the military or full-time clinical practice. Limiting my public health/travel med/consulting and lecturing to “when I feel like it” has let me happily spend my pension cruising, stash enhancing (oops), arguing with the DH about where we are going to travel next and book buying. Life is good!
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2 Responses to Thieves

  1. Lara says:

    Sounds like a rough go with the van. Keep your chin up, find the positive . . . now, you can go on long road trips and the kids can really lay down in the back of the van. Sleeping kids = traveling bliss.

    I loved the comment you left on my blog about the sock yarn and the cousin lurking in your knitting basket. Truly gave me a happy chuckle.

  2. Kristin says:

    Who the hell goes on a van-seat-stealing-spree?! That’s just bizarre, I’m really sorry.

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