Standing quietly at the fence looking down at the small stream exiting the lake, I had little to say. The birds were not quiet; I could hear children and dogs in the distance.
I was by myself. The Mole out for a walk, Ms Soprano in the US, the other three in Germany.
It has been both an excellent and an extremely lonely, challenging year. Walking between two worlds, I do no quite fit in either. With family scattered, I have built a support system. I know that I have made life long friends, but it doesn’t quite make up for having my time with DH be by phone rather than in person for weeks at a time.
The future is unsettled: each of the next two springs will see an offspring graduate and move on to higher education. I retire in 2011 after more than 30 year of Army life.
I want to throw doubts and worries along with regrets into the water and have them carried far away.
“I want to throw doubts and worries along with regrets into the water and have them carried far away.” Well said! And…amen.
You sound very loney and sad. I hope you get some together time with your family before the year is out.
I miss you.