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what do we owe whom — 15 Comments

  1. I’m on your side, especially since an inheritance is not an inheritance until the elder is gone! Ira and I were “lucky” that we got our retirement funds the old fashioned way…we inherited it, (hahaha) but we both would exchange it for more time with our parents (especially me, as my mom died at age 63).

  2. Glad she’s not my DIL or my child! Our kids are like yours…won’t ask unless they are in dire need, and that’s been awhile. They are proud to be on their own. And like yours, they understand we’ve worked hard and appreciate what we’ve done for them. It sounds like the FIL is single. Imagine what she’ll do if he finds a girlfriend and starts spending his money on the gf! Maybe that’s why he’s buying nice clothes. 🙂

  3. I’ve been through this with each of my own five, and Inge has been through it (and it continues) with her five. The simple answer, based on our experiences, is that children today–of most any age–have no understanding of obligation. Maybe we failed to teach it. We see it in their lack of appreciation for the property, rights, or feelings of others. And particularly here in the States, it seems many residents (citizens or not) have been brain-washed to believe “entitlements” and “free benefits” are the law of the land. These are the type of people with no comprehension of “career,” or people actually working and saving for 30 years to enjoy “retirement.” Kind of makes us feel good knowing we’re in our 70’s and shouldn’t be be around for what appears to be self-destruction of the world. I’m continuously reminded that one of the greatest God-given blessings given the human race, and probable the most abused, is that of free will. Most people inherently know what is right and just, but choose easier-appearing routes. It’s a real shame those routes almost never terminate at the ends expected. Always enjoy your messages. And, hey, doesn’t George have a birthday just around the corner? -bob

  4. Your shock at your friendly leech gives me great hope. And the answer is very simple. In fact there is not even any question. When my mother-in-law was living with us last year I found her trying to husband her assets. I told her to spend it all on herself because the thing we wanted was for her to die with too many assets.

  5. That is an interesting story. This woman apparently is living in an inheritance paradigm. I get a sense in Europe of a relatively low rate of upward social mobility, at least now. Is that true? It (upward social mobility – even the sense that ‘my kids can do better than me’) has so rapidly diminished in the US that college graduates no longer can get jobs, and full time workers can’t support their families without government food assistance – which is disappearing, and therefore we have rampant food insecurity the likes of which we have not known since the 60’s. This was aggravated by the 2007 crash, but it was a trend that was already established well before then.

  6. I agree with you. The father-in-law earned his reward. He worked all his life, and now he can enjoy himself. He has no obligation to the kids. They’re adults and on their own. Now, if there were a serious problem, e.g. losing a job, he would probably help out, but it is his money to do with what he wants.

  7. A subject we can totally agree on! It feels good to know that others share our value and sene of work ethic in this age of entitlement. Enjoy your cruises and I hope your travels bring you back to my area sometime this year.

  8. Wow. And you kept quiet? I’m not sure I would have; I’d have said my piece with a sweet smile so as to give her nothing to push back against while clarifying a few things in life for her.

  9. Nice letter! We both agree on your thinking, you get the world on a platter and you expect it forever.

  10. Regrettably, I think that this attitude is quite common. There was a book published about this entitlement 5 years or so ago. It was called something like “F*** off, it’s our turn now.” It was endorsing the attitude that you witnessed. It got a lot of publicity and the author was given a high level job in journalism.

  11. I’m catching up on all I couldn’t see from Spain- too much stone in the historic center where I lived and worked that messed up the signal.

    I’ve heard similar complaints on occasion and it always floors me. Our offspring are just like yours, so I don’t see the entitlement whine
    coming or have any idea where it’s from unless simple greed. To me, your subject lines says it all.

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