Standing quietly at the fence looking down at the small stream exiting the lake, I had little to say. The birds were not quiet; I could hear children and dogs in the distance.
I was by myself. The Mole out for a walk, Ms Soprano in the US, the other three in Germany.
It has been both an excellent and an extremely lonely, challenging year. Walking between two worlds, I do no quite fit in either. With family scattered, I have built a support system. I know that I have made life long friends, but it doesn’t quite make up for having my time with DH be by phone rather than in person for weeks at a time.
The future is unsettled: each of the next two springs will see an offspring graduate and move on to higher education. I retire in 2011 after more than 30 year of Army life.
I want to throw doubts and worries along with regrets into the water and have them carried far away.