Completely mundane and no purple wigs involved. Instead I am turning to kitchen gadgets:

It looks so innocent sitting there on the counter. Perhaps my most favorite it performs consistently and flawlessly every time. Doing what – you ask…

Why, guillotining a bagel. Not off with its head (or other obscenities), but splitting it in half. Into the toaster, then onto the plate…..
And no fingers are hurt by sharp knives either…
I have now fallen down the rabbit hole of looking at different kinds of wood bagel holder/slicers. I’m amused, bemused, and a little more enthused than I would have expected.
It reminds me of the fake “finger chopper” illusion that magicians use. (Yes, before you ask the late Senior Cat did make some!)