Hair Length

There was, what I charitably will presume was a well meaning woman about a year ago who made a comment about my shorter hair making me look much younger. I blew it off at the time rather than get into a discussion but there are just so many things wrong with that statement. The first is that I want to look younger than I am. Considering the source (my age with obviously bleach blond hair) such things are quite important to her.

It isn’t to me. Appearing younger is what I can do in my head as long as I don’t look in the mirror. But mirrors lie – after all – everything is reversed so why not sneak in a bit of aging change? Mirror, Mirror on the Wall and all of that. The same reason applies for why I don’t add hair color to cover my grey. I have earned those gray hairs. And, since they have grown back following chemo – every single last one of them is precious to me.

Part of what triggered off this chain of thought was George making the remark this morning that he was finally feeling hair bristling on his head. The chemo that they use for stem cell transplants for some reason has a much more devastating affect on hair follicles than the R-CHOP that was inflicted on me. I had hair starting back within about three weeks after my last dose of chemo and was willing to wander around without a scarf on my head by the time we took our Phoenix cruise to Iceland & Greenland in Aug/Sept of 2017. OTOH, my hair departed my head, covered my pillow and clogged the drain within 10 days of the first course of chemo. It was actually a when George was leaving the hospital–so 4-5 weeks later–when all of his exited stage left.

What the (hopefully) well meaning woman also didn’t get is that I really, really don’t like hair around my face. Not after spending 30 years in uniform where my choices were short or long and pulled back. Short takes a lot of care. Taking the time to get a trim every 3-6 weeks is just nuts, at least for me. For others, it is how they think of themselves. But there is absolutely nothing easier for me than grabbing a scrunchie and I am done. Out of the way, least likely to pull out or damage hair and easy to remove.

Also in the back of my mind is every old, blue haired lady that I ever saw. They had short hair, often permed. I am so not interested in turning into one of them. Accepting the “as you get older your hair should be shorter” idea that society seems to place on aging white women. I am not familiar enough with other cultures to be sure that it is the same. But at least in the SF Asian community, that seems to be the case. At the same time – mixed grey and brown hair straggling around one’s face isn’t terribly attractive either. And yesterday, when I was in the check-out lane at Costco (long, long story) I noticed that on the woman ahead of me in line. And when my first thought was – she is too old to wear her hair that way – I realized, that I too, might well have drunk the koolaide.

Examining one’s attitudes isn’t always that fun. But it might actually result in an improvement in behavior. And it certainly would have kept me from thinking–Old? You, who are bleached blond and wearing too tight clothes designed for someone in their teens is commenting on my appearance?

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

About Holly

fiber person - knitter, spinner, weaver who spent 33 years being a military officer to fund the above. And home. And family. Sewing and quilting projects are also in the stash. After living again in Heidelberg after retiring (finally) from the U.S. Army May 2011, we moved to the US ~ Dec 2015. Something about being over 65 and access to health care. It also might have had to do with finding a buyer for our house. Allegedly this will provide me a home base in the same country as our four adult children, all of whom I adore, so that I can drive them totally insane. Considerations of time to knit down the stash…(right, and if you believe that…) and spin and .... There is now actually enough time to do a bit of consulting, editing. Even more amazing - we have only one household again. As long as everyone understands that I still, 40 years into our marriage, don't do kitchens or bathrooms. For that matter, not being a golden retriever, I don't do slippers or newspapers either. I don’t miss either the military or full-time clinical practice. Limiting my public health/travel med/consulting and lecturing to “when I feel like it” has let me happily spend my pension cruising, stash enhancing (oops), arguing with the DH about where we are going to travel next and book buying. Life is good!
This entry was posted in family, Prose. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Hair Length

  1. Cat says:

    I am totally with you on the “pull it back in a scrunchie” deal. The idea of wasting time and money at the hairdresser is something I do not wish to contemplate – the money is better spent on books and craft supplies!

  2. Holly says:

    and especially the craft supplies! I am attempting to make full use of the library!

  3. Marl says:

    I’ve been wearing my hair(what’s still left) the same way for most of my life. Just makes it easier and I employ my barber every 3 weeks. Since I swim for most of my PT it’s easier to use the hand dryer in the pool bathroom to dry my hair. I tried a few times to let it grow longer but it just curls up.
    Not worth the effort.

    • Holly says:

      and, as a guy, you can be in and out of the chair in a short and reasonably short time. At a reasonable cost, And, especially with the swimming that you are NOT dying your hair…

  4. Bob says:

    I quit worrying about hair shortly after retiring from the military in 1977. Having worn nothing but flattop or crewcut military styles—and baldness having run in my family for ages—I noticed the receding hairline and thinning of that little was there. Married twice, I can fully appreciate how a woman values her tresses. But, as a guy, it’s no big deal. Way, way back in time there was the small fortune (then) of hair products to make one more presentable to the fairer sex. Then came the period of dating and such, where one – when caught in any compromising situation – had to straighten the tie and comb the hair. Out of the military and also retired from 32 years of Civil Service, I quit wearing ties. Fortunately or not, there were also no longer any compromising situations. This aging process really sucks, but it’s mandatory. Acting one’s age on the other hand is purely optional!

    • Holly says:

      I think that one of the reasons that I don’t care about hair is 33 years spent in uniform. Long enough to pull back and done. Anything else, and it takes work.

      But, if you are used to long hair – losing hair from chemo really sucks. Every single last grey hair that has grown baking in the last two years is more than gratefully welcomed.

  5. Lorette says:

    I quit coloring my hair a long time ago. It needed to be done about every 5 weeks, and it was expensive. I keep mine just below collar length, I can go months between trims, and I don’t have to wash it every day like I would if it were short. I’m all about low maintenance.

    • Holly says:

      my daughter’s have all played with hair color. You name it, one of them has worn that color for a while.

      But for me it was decades of military service where my hair had to be above my collar or put up. Cut regularly? or yank back and put it in a bun.

      Hands down, no choice.

      As my hair grew back from chemo, I have had been afforded the opportunity to experience all the possible lengths. Longer, pulled back out of my face is absolutely the best!

Leave a Reply to Holly Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.