Don’t just close the door

At home, which means home, not garrison, not work but one’s own living location, there are jokes galore about the battle of the sexes when it comes to toilets and toilet seats.

There are the little boy jokes which have to do with aim and then there are the adult conflicts that have to do with seat up vs seat down. The logic is pretty clear: the average guy likes leaving the toilet seat up because it is quicker; the average woman wants the seat down but the cover up because it is quicker (and safer in the middle of the night). Battles can rage for years and decades over something which might seem simple.

Now let us move to the deployed environment – specifically US locations. I am specifying US so that no one has to compromise (after all, the Dutch are sensible, do all sanitary facilities as individual with locks on the door so unisex is not an issue). When it comes to the San Trailers – they are all gender specific. The women’s has flush toilets. The seats are always down. If the lid is closed – it means there is a problem with the toilet. Universal, easy to understand.
Near where I work there are two port-a-loos which are marked “Women only.” Again, no issues and only rarely does a guy fail to read what is 240 point right at eye level.

Now, we come to the rest of the port-a-johns. They are unisex and generally have a urinal as well as a toilet area. Some have a “built-in raised seat area.” Others have a seat that can flip up and the third variety actually has a seat and cover. Since most guys pee in the urinal, there shouldn’t be an issue – right? Ignoring the boot marks on the toilet seat, after a while one can cope with just about anything.

Even though the issue here is not the seat, it is still a guy issue, especially after dark. Absolutely NONE of us want to open the door on someone in the loo.

Just what is so flipping hard about latching the door?

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9 Responses to Don’t just close the door

  1. Alison says:

    A rueful, surprised guffaw at the punch line. Sorry you had to go
    through that! (Him, yes, but he brought it on himself.)

  2. Diane says:


    Been there…done that…have that t-shirt!

  3. Helen says:

    Doing the latch is strictly a female thing as we feel more threatened. Guys don’t give a damn!

  4. Brad says:

    As I waited patiently for my limited time in the bathroom, as a husband and father of two girls, my old days as a transportation office came back to me.

    I announced to Chere that I had finally figured out the delta in time in bathroom spent: girls versus boys.

    Girls, I said, have more moving parts; so they require more maintenance.

  5. Carmen says:

    True fact.

  6. Bob says:

    How ’bout battery-operated LEDs that activate (light up) when the door is opened and someone is inside, and goes out when the facility is empty?

  7. Holly says:

    and have even more indelible images seared on the back of my eyeball? I don’t think so!

  8. Mark says:

    Concerning the locking the door; maybe sone folks WANT to be seen.

  9. Berg says:

    You are forgetting the lowest common denominator again

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